Update #158 - Heart and Mouth

“For as the thoughts of his heart are, so is he…” Proverbs 23:7a

"Brush Puppy"

The “happy car fairy” and I were at odds. Time was of the essence and I had not one but three cars with issues. The Blanche the Bonneville had overheated the night before coming up the mountain I live on (thank you God it happened near a spot I could pull off the narrow road), blew a hose and had to be towed to the mechanic.

Get to the mechanic and pick up the previously dropped off VW, pay, drive off the lot, only to have Mabel stall, die and coast to a stop at the side of the road. Back to the mechanic she went.

Call a coworker who picks me up, ferries me back up the hill so I can change and prep for another coworkers wedding that afternoon. I barely get dressed and my phone rings… yep, car number three in distress.

A third coworker and two others are stranded beside the highway due to a tire blow-out. They are all in wedding attire. So me, in fancy dress (and flats, the high heels are in a bag) takes off to “rescue” the stranded motorists.

I arrive. The guys skedaddle in the car I drove with all the wedding catering and hospitality supplies leaving me and my female coworker on the side of the road… in 100 degree heat, gushing wind and dust tornados with each passing car (did I mention we were next to a freeway?). We sit in the car, melting (makeup sliding off our faces, perfume losing power, and hair wilting by the second) and wait for roadside assistance guy – who keeps getting lost.

By this point my patience was wearing very, very, very thin. My coworker has a cute British/South African accent. The assistance dude, unable to understand her kept saying “What? What?” so I ended up talking to him. I was totally befuddled how one could get lost heading south on a freeway - we were the only car for MILES parked alongside the road.

At one point a sharp tonged comment came out of my mouth. My coworkers blue eyes widened and quietly asked for the phone by holding out her hand. I gave it to her and with each “What? What?” she slowly repeated herself over and over and over until he eventually arrived.

We made it to the wedding with the spare leaking air, wind tossed hair (not a good thing), makeup essentially gone and smelling not so fantastic. The valets must have had a great laugh at our arrival. Less than ten minutes in the bathroom and we were set to rights and rushed off to help with the final wedding prep.

Out of the heart the mouth speaks.

What was in my heart during the above scenario? Anger, frustration, irritation, judgment and a whole bunch of other not so good stuff. What came out? A sharp tonged comment that, thankfully, the assistance dude hopefully didn’t hear due to the wind and surrounding car noise – but my coworker did.

What is in your heart? How does it shape your responses in stressful situations? How do you react when all seems against you and the “hope” is delayed and delayed and delayed? What are you speaking?

Updates:

Travel – South Korea in November! I am excited to visit Seoul and see a few friends… Joann Cook and Songhwa Yang here we come!

Work – The Big Weekend retreat went really, really well. No huge logistical snafu’s, no accidents, and God showed up in very powerful, impactful and meaningful ways.

Personal – Cars are still in need but holding together. It is like they know we are looking for replacements and are intentionally behaving themselves.

Requests:

Travel – Tickets, accommodations, agenda, team finalization etc. for all our upcoming travel – Beijing, Seoul, Chennai…

Work – For upcoming international venture and speaking engagements.

Personal – God has been talking to me about rest – its true definition – Psalm 127 will most likely have a blog post at some point. Please pray I would understand God’s definition and get a good picture of what it looks like practically.

P.S. On the way home from the wedding my blue-eyed coworker filled the spare car tire and arrived home safely. But, another coworker was pulled over by the police because her headlight decided to blink and then go out… it was a fantastic car day all around!

P.P.S. Check out the latest social media - one spot stop for about.me.

P.P.P.S. Happy belated birthday to Kelley Weeks, Teryn Rikert, Andy Cottrill and Brian Miller!

Update #157 - Where Death and Disappointment Lead

“I will restore to you the years the locust has eaten…” Joel 2:25a

Sunset from my parents family room - Federal Way, WA

Overall, 2011 has not been my favorite year in life thus far; it has been marked by death. My aunt’s health failed in February, an alliance annulled in April, a decade deceased, a promising encounter (or two) exited…

With death comes disappointment – lost dreams, hopes, desires. I have had my fair share of loss, of denied (or so it appears) dreams, and delayed desires. I am forty and unmarried – need I say more?

This morbid train of thought ended with me ruminating about the disciples at the time of Jesus’ death (don’t ask me how I got here, couldn’t repeat the random thought links if I tried). How did they feel? The dream of Jesus on the throne – dead. The hope of the Roman domination ending – crushed. The desire of equality and Jewish unity – defeated. Add to that their mentor, teacher, rabbi , close friend and travelling companion of the last three years is DEAD. I can only imagine the heart anguish and mental angst they suffered.

But, they didn’t fully understand the plan.

Jesus had tried to explain it to them – but they didn’t get it. Jesus had told stories about what was going to happen, but they didn’t put it together. Jesus left clues all over the place but they didn’t recognize them for what they were. They missed it. How often do we miss God’s hints to us? How oft do we, while blinded by grief and pain, pass indicators of God’s involvement and care?

Death and disappointment are coupled with resurrection and hope in God’s Kingdom.

God PROMISES to repurpose all things for good; every hurt-filled situation, every death, every denied dream, every delayed desire – everything.

Every

Last

Thing

Caveat - you must trust him to redeem the situation for you vs. you taking action yourself. You have to surrender the situation to him, act when he says act, respond when he says respond, and move when he says move. In time, situations, dreams and desires are renovated, repaired and restored.

I speak from experience. A catastrophic ankle injury (at 22) eventually ended one career – but opened up a new world (at 34). The ten month closing period on my condo actually caused me to make vs. lose money. A blind date didn’t click with me but ended up being a great client for my boss…

I have areas awaiting resurrection. I have areas needing hope infusion (have mustard seed – need more); but I am standing in faith God will stay true to his character and word. He WILL renovate, repair, restore, redeem what I have lost. It may not appear alike, it may not be the experience I expected, and it may not appear when assumed; but, if I abide in him and watch for his clues I won’t miss what he has for me.

What areas of your past need redemption / resurrection / restoration? What keeps you from giving them to Jesus to project manage / mitigate for you? Where has death seemingly won out? What are you hoping for?

Updates:

Travel – I made it to Seattle for the week! I have missed the California sunshine, but have enjoyed spending time with my parents and a few close friends. I did spend one day on the couch sick with the flu but it was nice to be around mom when that happened!

Work – Two forums down two to go, training is almost finished and The Big Weekend retreat starts the 23rd. Brett returns from Nigeria soon, is speaking at an upcoming missions conference, and then he is off again to Canada, China and several other countries.

Personal – Dentistry insurance is on its way! I hope to get all the stuff needed to be done completed in October.

Requests:

Travel – Nothing confirmed but hopeful for several upcoming trips

Work – For upcoming forums and webinars (for good attendance and participation) http://inst.net/events/index.html. For The Big Weekend Retreat September 23-25 I am in charge of planning and execution – pray for open hearts, God’s presence and unity of spirit.

Personal – Blanche (my car), Mabel (Gareth and Linda’s car) are petering. They are holding in there but need more and more mechanical love and attention to keep them on the road. Please pray for new vehicles for us! We need more than two with the amount of traffic in and out of the Johnson household… we would like a floater car too for our guests to use when they arrive.

P.S. check out the latest social media - one spot stop for about.me.

Update #156 - Oil

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18

Balboa Park, San Diego, CA

Have you ever felt overwhelmingly loved? Felt it all the way to the core of who you are - an awesome, tremendous, amazing love? I was recently asked to think of a related memory and relive it. It was a powerful experience.

I remember simultaneously feeling peace and excitement. I was happy and joy-filled but completely relaxed. I didn’t care much about external world events and happenings – I wasn’t ignoring them, but felt they had a big bubble of love to conquer before impacting me.

I also remember people being present who, in the past, had rubbed me the wrong way - said or acted hurtfully toward me – and I didn’t care they were in attendance. In fact, I engaged them in conversation and happily splashed some of the love I felt all over them (I am sure they thought I was on an illegal drug induced high).

The love I felt coursing through me was like thick oil – coating, covering, concealing – filling in missing pieces, softening sharp places, smoothing over rough parts. I was unconditionally, irrevocably, undeniably loved.

I contrast that feeling to my everyday life. The reality of the love I felt hasn’t changed. It is still there – the person is still in my life and I can access the love whenever I want. I can tap into its source and feel peace-filled, joyous, excited, relaxed – happy - anytime of the day or night. I just don’t always make it a priority.

I can hear your thoughts – “Are you nuts? Who would want to live a dry, desert existence when they could feel fantastic and joyous all the time? Why would you choose that?”

Because I am task oriented and my day gets away from me before it begins. Because I wake up with a list running though my head and I want to conquer it before it conquers me. Because my calendar is double and triple booked in places and I don’t have fifteen minutes to myself. Because I am involved, engaged, engrossed, occupied, absorbed, connected with so many other good things… (Sound familiar?).

So often we are offered the best but are happy with good; we are presented the finest and settle for standard. Why?

I honestly think it is due to the fact our circumstances, the “shoulds” of the now, the desires of the day, the wants of the world, drive and distract our focus… and sight on our eternal purpose and position fade.

I am so guilty of this; push off the eternal, push off the distant to attend to the temporal - what is right in front of my face. Yes, I am wired as a firefighter; yes, I am duty oriented and love nothing more than a juicy project to dig into – but it doesn’t excuse me from remembering why I am here and what my real purpose on earth is.

The Bible is filled with “to do’s” and “to don’ts” – but basically boils down to loving those around you as you love yourself. If I can’t love myself enough to stop, to take the time and plug into the source of love itself am I really loving anyone else, or am I deluding myself?

This was a hard truth for me to face in my own life – am I really loving others like Jesus would want me to?

Where is your life dry? Where are you weary? Where are you feeling stress, anxiety, fear or doubt? Where is there confusion? What keeps you from tapping into the source of love, joy and hope? What keeps you from partaking in the love so generously given?

Updates:

Travel – Coronado was SO MUCH FUN! Thanks ladies for a fantastic finale to my 40th birthday celebration.

Work – Training is at its halfway point and we are solidifying travel destination and plans for the upcoming venture cycle. Brett is heading to Nigeria the week after Labor Day and the rest of us are gearing up for the LEMON Leadership Forum / Webinar and The Big Weekend Retreat.

Personal – Looks like I may make it home to Seattle mid-September for a short visit to see my family. Thanks for praying this into happening!

Requests:

Travel – Indonesia in November? Nigeria / South Africa in December?????

Work – For upcoming forums and webinars (for good attendance and participation) http://inst.net/events/index.html. For The Big Weekend Retreat September 23-25 I am in charge of planning and execution.

Personal – Still waiting on the dentistry thing. Thanks for praying!