Update #184 - Trust

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know.” Proverbs 3:5

My Dad and me last Christmas

My dad, at his zenith, was about 6’5” tall. He could see over most of the multitude and find a path pretty easy out of a crowded auditorium. My mom, 5’7” was of average height in my home town and couldn't see – plus she HATES crowds.  This lead to the affectionately known “Andrews Exit Strategy.” Whenever my family went to sporting events or crowded auditorium affairs upon exiting my mom would always stand behind my dad.  Her finger would hook through one of his belt-loops and sometimes her head would rest between his shoulder blades.  Her steps would match his as they zigzagged out of the crowded amphitheater together.

I am not a big fan of crowds or crowded places either.  The Hong Kong subway system, albeit orderly, clean and quiet was bordering on overwhelming people-wise for me; we were practically sitting on each other’s laps or standing on others’ feet! Thank God I had my friend Gwyn with me. She, dissimilar to my dad, is petite, can’t see above heads (unlike me, the giantess of Hong Kong, or so I felt) but she knew her way around and zipped from one train to the next, through one turnstile to the next, from one stairwell to the next without looking at a map or consulting signposts.  I just tried to keep up with my tiny friend. The hardest part was picking her dark locks out from all the rest of the black-haired beauties! I should have tied a bright orange scarf around her head!

I had no clue where I was, where we were going but I knew we were using a subway to get there.  I put my trust in Gwyn and followed. Same with my mom – she knew they were on the way to the car but how they were getting there (ramps, stairs, elevators, sidewalks) was an unknown to her. She put her trust in my dad, kept her head down, and watched his feet.

How much do you understand about your existence? How much do you really know about where you are going, the path you are on, or the upcoming events (known or unknown) in your life?  I don’t know much. I think I get things sorta figured out then something changes, and my view shifts.

Who do you trust to lead you through the crowd of decisions, life choices and options presented to you? Who knows their way around? Who can see up ahead? Who can see over all the clamor to the ultimate destination? Who has the orange scarf tied to their head?

I hope you said God.  I hope you are relying on him to help you make decisions, determine life choices, and ferret out options.  I hope he is the one guiding you, giving you the scope of the land and describing the ultimate destination.  Anyone else could have faulty information, not know a road has been closed or that a once viable opportunity is no longer valid or available.

Who is your orange scarfed front runner? If it isn't God, why?

Updates:
Work – Brett is off to Toronto without me.  The speaking schedule changed and he can handle 30 people while blindfolded and handcuffed… so I get to stay in 80 degree California and while he tolerates 50 degree, rainy Toronto (I think I got the better deal!).
Personal – I am still battling a head cold. I am completely wiped by the end of the day and uber ready for bed, but I am able to make all my appointments and work obligations (thank God).  It is SLOWLY improving, but I am sick of being sick! My voice is MUCH better – thanks for praying!

Requests:
Work – Craziness is coming! We wrap our 13 week training cycle on the 3rd, start the Executive Intensive the 7th, commission everyone the 13th and then Brett, Lyn and I head to South Africa the 22nd to conduct ventures back to back (one in Johannesburg, one in Cape Town).  We need more attendees for the Intensive and more consultants for both ventures… we have a full client load!
Personal – My cold to go away, for our intercession team to grow not only in numbers but in depth of spirit, and for protection of my family while I am away. Also for my side trip to the UK on my way home – I know, I know, seeing London in November isn’t prime, but it works in the schedule!  Prayer for planning, places to stay, what sites to see, etc.

PS If you would like to donate toward my travel and ministry fund I would appreciate it!  I am currently fundraising for my trips to Johannesburg and Cape Town ($4k total) and my airfare (almost $3K!!!). All the info you need is located here:  http://www.denagrace.com/support. Thank you in advance for your generosity!

Update #183 - Heart Desire

Santa Cruz, CA

“…He guided them to the harbor they had longed for.” Psalm 107:30

Do you believe God knows the deepest desires of your heart?  Do you believe he cares about what they are and wants to make them happen?

Me? Honestly, some days, no.  Some days my life circumstances are screaming so loud, the everyday life happenings are going down in ways I didn’t anticipate and my life is the absolute antithesis of what my heart desires.  I want a family of my own, I want a house I can nest in, I want a husband, I want to be married, I want to go on vacation, I want, I want, I want, I want…

There are days / weeks / months I feel like I am in storm-tossed waters.  I know the truth, I believe in the truth, but I can’t see even a smidgen of the truth through the overwhelming, swamping waves, trying to take the boat of my life to the seabed!  I can’t jump out; where would I go? I can’t change course; I can’t even tell where I am! I can’t steer or calibrate, the winds are too rough and the waves too big. I am exhausted with the work of trying to keep my life afloat - all my skills seem meaningless, useless.  I give up; I cling to the deck, the foundation, and pray everything stays together while the storm rocks my life.

Ever felt that way?

In Psalm 107 there is a similar situation – but it is about real sailors and waves.  The song tells the story of seamen fighting for their lives, their courage melting, and how they finally cling to the deck in surrender and submission to the storm; crying out for God to save them.

And he does. “He led them from their troubles” verse 28 says.  Then God, in verse 29, “… made the storm calm down, and the waves became still.” Then “he guided them to the harbor they had longed for.” God guided them into their desired haven – not one they didn’t want to go to, not one they hated, not one they had sorta-kinda wanted to visit… he led them to their DESIRED destination.

This gives me hope.  I think it would take a pretty rough sea to have mariners clinging to decks. I think it must have been a staggering storm with crushing waves and engulfing troughs to have seasoned seaman lose all courage. They encountered an awe-inspiring storm and cried out to God, and God showed up.  Then, in his loving-kindness, not only saved them but led them to their hearts desire.

Do I really believe God has the best intended for me? That the storm I am facing, will face, will ultimately turn out for my benefit?  I think our stance / belief on these questions is the heart of the issue.  If I believe the overwhelming wave of emotion I am experiencing, the pain slicing through my heart I am feeling, the engulfing sadness I am suffering will somehow, someway, work for my best, it makes it tolerable. I have more grace for the situation and for the offender. I have a tidbit of expectation and anticipation. I want to see how God is going to turn this around, how HE is going to make this better.

I believe God will calm the storm and he will, eventually, lead me toward the desires of my heart.  The question is, will I cooperate or fight the process? Will I listen and obey even if it doesn’t make sense or will I fight my own way, on my own strength, on my own strategy?

What storm or storms are you encountering in your life? Can you see a way out or are you overwhelmed? Have you cried out to God or are you fighting with all your talents, skills and past successes? What is the desire of your heart?

Updates:
Work – The Big Weekend, our semi-annual retreat, was last weekend and the stories of God’s amazing love and care are still being realized and reported. Thank you to all the alumni who travelled long distances to serve, pray and hang out with the trainees (much love to you Clint, Khanh, Elaine, Annie, Norman and Shelley!)
Personal – I am battling a head / chest cold that is holding on, and on, and on.  My energy level is ok, but I sound like a frog and by the end of the day my voice is depleted.  A return of health would be great!
Cool thing – prior to the retreat weekend we pray over the participants and then assign rooms/roommates.  Linh and I worked on this early last week.  On Friday, while she was driving to the retreat center, she felt she needed to switch two of the women into different rooms. She followed her “gut instinct” and made the swap.  She found out later that one of the parings of roommates was “divine” and God did A-Mazing thing while they shared a room for the weekend.

Requests:
Work – Brett and I are heading to Toronto next week. He is speaking at a conference over the weekend.  We return and start our Executive Intensive the 7th, have commissioning on the 13th, then Lyn, Brett and I leave for South Africa on the 22nd… we are in desperate need for consultants for both the Johannesburg and Cape Town ventures.
Personal – My cold to go away, for our travel to Canada, for our intercession team to grow not only in numbers but in depth of spirit, and for protection of my family while I am away.