Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Update #57


“Trust in the LORD. Have faith, do not despair. Trust in the LORD.” Psalm 27:4

I had a dream this week, and in the dream I was at a singles mixer party. The party was loud, music blaring, everyone talking to be heard over the din, glassware clinking, doors opening and closing, greetings called, high fives exchanged (guys), drinks poured, and food being eaten. It was an upscale apartment with a gorgeous view of the California Valley, the Bay, and all the lights of the city. The people were well dressed and the décor of the room was in camel and ivory with expensive dark wood trimmings. It was a beautiful scene.

But there was something wrong….the guys were on one side of the room and the girls were on the other - no one was crossing the room to talk.

“Ok God, what is going on here?” I asked. Bam! My eyes and ears were opened. The room was segregated out of fear. Fear that they may be rejected. Fear that they may make a mistake. Fear that they may be wasting their time on “the wrong person.” Fear that they may have their flaws found out. Fear that they may be perceived wrong. Fear was keeping them rooted in place and they couldn’t move.

To make it worse, pride justified their petrifaction. In the dream I was standing in the middle and I could hear the thoughts of those around me judging the others across the room. “They aren’t, they have, they don’t have…so I won’t, I can’t.”

As I stood there I got mad. I got really, really mad. They didn’t even know the people across the room and they were dismissing them purely on appearance. They were deciding what was best for them instead of letting God do it.

Then the dream stopped and morphed into something else less vivid. My waking thought was – “Ok – what was the message there?” Two things came immediately to my mind:

1. Trusting God – Fear of the unknown held the people in my dream captive. And I think this happens a lot in other circumstances as well. Instead of asking God what He wants and then risking in obedience we stay safely on the sidelines and don’t join the game. This can be applied to jobs, buying houses, cars, investing money, donating money (hold onto it instead of giving it away…because what if it isn’t right?), etc.

2. Judgment – God doesn’t like us to do it (Matthew 7:1, Luke 6:37) – when we judge on appearance we don’t see the heart. This not only applies to people but to situations as well. When we jump to conclusions as to what we saw or heard without finding out more we judge the situation from our own finite perspective…and are usually wrong.

My parting questions are: Where in your life are you living in fear – so much so it is keeping you from “crossing the room,” and where is judgment clouding your vision - holding you back from realizing the true heart of a situation?

Updates:
Living
– at my relative’s house until God puts me in different accommodation.
Car – for the first time was filled to capacity…yep 6 people…and we weren’t squished!
Samson – “the Ramer”, “my big-boy”, “my little man”, “the Q-Tip King”, “Bubee”, “Tammy”, “Bubers”, died unexpectedly on Friday and is now, I believe, is in heaven chasing bugs, stalking flowers, and running freely without his harness to hinder him. That said, I have never felt grief like this before and I desperately miss him.
Work – Half of the staff is back from their (ad)ventures. The other half is either stuck in South Africa due to visa issues, or building houses in India with our community track branch of operation (http://www.equipfoundation.org/)
Relationships – I am in awe how the word spread about Sammy’s death…my phone has been ringing off the hook, and emails pouring into my inbox…thank you for your thoughtfulness.

Requests:
Housing – I am with my Aunt, Uncle, and cousin for the time being but, when the new rēp headquarters are determined, I need a place close to the office.
Holidays - I am staying in California for Thanksgiving and heading to Washington for Christmas – please pray for safe travel and good time with family and friends
Work – For LEMON Leadership bookings, that I will be divinely inspired how to improve remote training next time around, and for the consultants to ‘find their place’ once they’ve returned stateside.
Relationships - deepening of present ones, start of new ones and that God will be present
Financing - Eventually my position will be salaried but at first I need to raise ~$3000 a month cover expenses. If you are interested in contributing, please see ‘Contribute’ at http://www.repurposing.biz/ on the left of the page, or visit http://www.denaandrews.blogspot.com/ and read the footer for additional info.

Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US,

Dena

PS: How’s Jill’s post-Hawaii tan? Anyone seen her?

1 comment:

eshibui said...

I finally read this one. Keep writing! :)