Update #65

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” John 10:27

Desert Garden; Huntington Botanical Garden, Pasadena, CA

What are you afraid of? This was brought up in a recent conversation and it gave me pause to think. What am I afraid of?

Well, cobwebs over dark pathways creep me out, unexpected touches in dim lighting make me jump sky high, relational discord makes me cringe, the thought of not never seeing my parents again makes my stomach knot up…but I think my greatest fear is not having God talk to me anymore.

In the past I have experienced periods of “God silence.” When this occurs I go through my list of questions; 1. What sin is in the way? 2. Who do I need to forgive or ask forgiveness from? If this doesn’t yield a response then I ask number three “Am I supposed to be learning something?”

The long silences in my life usually result because I have dug in my heels, crossed my arms over my chest, and steeled my resolve against whatever lesson He is trying to teach me. My pride kicks in, “self” takes over and my spiritual side goes to the back seat.

Eventually, desperation to hear His voice causes my resolve to fail – then my attitude becomes “wherever, whenever, whatever.” Honestly, I think this is where God really wants us. I have to believe that He wants the best for me and that the lessons, testings, and trials that come across my path are in my best interest. At times I have a hard time wrapping my mind around this concept and the “W list” doesn’t get whipped out right away – it takes me some time to assimilate.

Do you believe that God has your best interest in mind (Jer. 29:11)? Do you believe that what faces you can be turned for His glory in your life (Rom 8:28)? I think a lot of people stumble at this – they are facing so much, they are battling a great deal, their lives are hard, painful and overwhelming. “Where can God be in all this?” they ask.

Believe it or not, he is in the center of it with you (unless you told Him to go away). You may not be able to hear him, see him, feel him, or touch him but he is there none the less. We cause a lot of our own pain through choices we make – and the consequences that follow. He doesn’t abandon us in this either – he may shake his head in patient endurance but he does not leave.

What do you fear? What are you facing? What lesson is God facilitating? Have you relinquished control and asked “Where, When, What”? Are you trusting God for the “How” and believing Him for the “Why”? Are you hearing God’s voice (John 10:27)? Are you listening to it or is their an obstacle in your way?

Updates:
Living – The Johnson House SOLD! The hunt for a new residence continues – where they move to will determine my new lodging…stay tuned!
Work – Training continues, it is less than a month to our HUGE retreat - and of course the usual “challenges” that go with conference planning are surfacing
Relationships – making new ones, deepening old ones, dating a guy…
Health – My left ankle is almost back to normal - is it still a bit swollen and complains if I walk too far or wear cute shoes for too long – but is MUCH better!

Requests:
Housing – I am with my relatives but when the Johnsons find their new abode I will probably be moving.
Work – The Big Weekend retreat (March 28-30) and international leader’s conference (March 24-28) are fast approaching, I am learning new things and being stretched constantly…pray against fatigue and acceptance of the ordinary!
Relationships - deepening of present ones, start of new ones and that God will be present.
Financing - If you are interested in contributing, please see ‘Contribute’ at http://www.repurposing.biz/ on the left of the page, or visit http://www.denaandrews.blogspot.com/ and read the footer for additional info.

Dena

PS Happy Birthday Craig Baker!