Update #168 - Shield of Offense

“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15

Beach at Corona del Mar, Orange County, CA

Belt of truth – check. Breastplate of righteousness – check. Shoes of peace – check. Shield of faith – check. Helmet of salvation – check. Sword of the Spirit – Hey! Where is my sword? Why is this extra shield stuck to my arm????

I am left handed, so when I go through the above “putting on” exercise in the morning I have my shield of faith on my right arm and I am usually gripping the sword of the spirit in my left hand. But, this particular morning I had shields on both arms, and unable to pick up or grasp my sword.

The unidentified interloper of a shield was almost identical to the one I usually carried – round, sturdy, “Dena-sized,” and clamped firmly to my forearm (I tried shaking it off – it didn’t budge); but unlike the other it had writing on the back - right at eye level. “They didn’t call.” “They lied.” “They acted in anger.” “They yelled.” “They stole.” “My name irrevocably slandered.” “They damaged my property.” “They treated my loved ones with disrespect.” “They have hidden rules they expect others to live by.” “They didn’t include me.” “They are selfish.” The list continued across and round the shield. Each entry had a date and name next to it. I recognized each statement, name and event. The last entry was dated the day before.

Oh, this is a shield of offense. Lovely – I have let the sin of offense make my sword hand inactive. Now, I am only able to defend myself and not act offensively in any way to any onslaught the enemy may send. Great. Nice job Dena; way to render yourself battle inactive.

In my eyes, and in several around me, I had every right to feel hurt and in need of protective armor after what had been rendered me the day before. I did have every right to feel hurt, but I had no right to hold offense. That is God’s job.

God says I need to forgive those who hurt me, slander me, persecute me, beat me, malign me, abuse me, and torture me (physically, emotionally and /or spiritually). I don’t have to trust them, hang out with them, or seek their company /companionship – but I do have to honestly, tried and true forgive them from the depths of my heart.

Why? Because I want to be forgiven by God: “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15

Whoa. I want to be forgiven by God – so no matter what the creep from the day before had done to me I needed to forgive them. Very. Hard. Pill. To. Swallow.

To be completely transparent, I was deeply offended, incredibly hurt and in a lot of emotional pain. And, I was angry. “God, you saw what happened. You know my heart. I did not deserve that – AT ALL. I am pretty toasted about the whole scenario if you want to know the truth. I want to slice and dice them six ways from Sunday – and then come back and stomp on them like they did me! But, I CHOOSE to forgive their actions toward me and release them into your hands to deal with. I CHOOSE to bless them and ask you to do what is right and best for them. But keep ‘em away from me.”

I heard a small click, snap - the shield unclasped itself from my left forearm; a hollow thud marked its landing. I picked up my sword – played the handle in my hand, and smiled for the first time of the day. “Finally, dressed and ready for the day.”

What offenses do you carry – do you have one shield, or several lining your arm? Are you tired? I can only imagine the fatigue of having to fight, defend, posture and position to keep the arrows of the enemy and your offenders at bay. Who do you need to forgive, really truly forgive, so God can forgive you? This infinitely important – your eternal future is at stake.

Updates:

Travel – Currently in Orange County, CA enjoying the sunshine (and the wind), friends, and great local food!

Personal – I am so enjoying my new camera. It takes incredible pictures and I am having fun cropping and playing.

Work – Training is going well, the Nigerian and South African trips are coming together, and plans for trips to Egypt and Indonesia are being chatted through. Things are still a bit crazy but mellowing a bit.

Marketplace Impact – Indonesia – June 2009 – God woke me up in the middle of the night and told me to write down some verses and to give a gift to a leader in a local company; a devoted Muslim none the less. The next day I approached him and shared that God had asked me to give him the verses and gift. The man’s response was “God knows me? God knows my name? I speak to him three times a day and he never talks to me.” Later one of the executives came joyfully into the empty conference room where we were working. He asked me why I had chosen the verses I had. I related the story. He beamed and said he had wanted to share Christ with his boss for months but God had told him to wait. That morning, just after the man left me he motioned the executive into his office – “Explain this to me” he asked – the executive did and in the process was able to share the Gospel message! Sometimes you just scatter the seed; other times you water it!

Requests:

Travel – This week Brett and Lyn come back from visiting her parents in Hawaii, I come back from Southern California only to have Brett and Lyn off to Nigeria next week and Jackson off to SoCal sunshine. Please pray for travel safety and possible upgrades for Brett and Lyn!

Personal – The increda-push the first 8 weeks of the year brought has passed (Thank God) and we are in a good position going forward. The main concern for me is what is on God’s heart? I want the ability to hear and pursue it without pause – and leave anything else I may feel is “necessary or pertinent” for a later date / time.

Work – A large Bay Area Christian Conference is this upcoming weekend – Brett is speaking and several of the staff are attending and filling many roles. Pray the time will be effectively used, our booth will have a lot of traffic, and people will be really blessed through the conversations had, prayers prayed, and materials given.