“Likewise the Spirit also helps our infirmities.” Romans 8:26
In my 40 odd years of singleness I have dated a few men. Most have been fun, enjoyable experiences and a few – mostly sophomoric in nature – were disasters. I learned a lot about men - how they think, act, react, decide, as well as how they respond to pain, discouragement and disappointment.
Each relationship brought me new knowledge, insight and wisdom. It also brought shyness and reticence. I am much less apt to jump into a relationship now than when I was 20 – why? I have learned a few things and I want to “know” much more now than I needed then. In essence, I am not young and dumb anymore, the veil of innocence and naiveté has been ripped off. This is a positive attribute in some ways – I avoid the men who aren’t a good fit for me and the life I am called to live; but it is a negative in others – I am restrained in giving my heart, even a little piece, before trust is built, gained, and is solid.
This causes issues.
There is a very smart man who lives in South Africa named Doug Johnson (he is my bosses’ older, and he says, cuter, brother). He oft quotes this truism: “Healed people heal people; hurt people hurt people.”
So true.
I had been hurt by trusting, giving, opening myself up – so naturally I don’t want to go there; I didn’t want to expose myself to that kind of pain and suffering again. But I don’t want to hurt others either. I found myself in a conundrum – don’t want to hurt, don’t want to get hurt.
I asked God about it. He was pretty direct “Get into relationship with people, men, women, children; open your heart to them and let yours be healed.” Um, God, this is what I was trying to AVOID!
It took a while but I realized healing doesn’t come if you “Lone Ranger” it through the process. If you were wounded in a 1:1 relationship, more than likely that is where you will find healing. If injured in community, most likely, you will need to immerse yourself there to find wholeness. Offended corporately? Guess where you have to go to gain restoration… yep, a communal setting.
I placed myself into God’s hands, trusted him to find the healing places for me to engage and cautiously began my journey of intimate, community, corporate relationship wound debridement. They haven’t been the quickest to heal but now if you bump them, poke them, or inadvertently bruise them I am not traumatized like I once was.
I am still shy in situations and take extra time to suss out situations vs. readily engaging. But I am more trustful than I once was. I am still reticent in the full giving of my heart but trust Jesus to guard it verses me vetting everyone I come across.
I know I have hurt others, and I am truly repentant and sorry for the pain I have caused. I have made things as right as I am able and realize God has to do the rest. I have learned the art of surrender (Yes, Jodie, the other “s” word) and the importance of forgiveness and humility.
God can heal all wounds. God can make all situations righteous and beneficial. God can protect, conceal, and mend everything from relationships and emotions to situations and business opportunities; if you let him…only if you give him permission to enter the wound and trust his prescription for healing.
Where are you hurt? Where are you shy? Where are you reticent to join in and take part in the foray? Were you hurt 1:1, in a community, or in a corporate setting? Where do you need to ask God to place you (safely) so you gain healing?
Where is your healing place?
Updates:
Travel – The Egypt conference was amazing (God showed up; as did a ga-zillion mosquitoes). I have not had so much fun praying for people in a long time. The mozies took full advantage – I looked like I was wearing poka-dot socks!
Work - I am safely home and now we are smack in the middle of executing our Repurposing Business Executive Intensive (our 3 month training smooshed into 5 days). Kim and I leave on Sunday morning (uber early – 1am) for Indonesia to join in the World Prayer Assembly. The WPA trip is coming together. The team is mostly finalized, hotels 80% booked, flights confirmed and the last team call happened today. The conference begins on the 14th!
Requests:
Travel – Please pray for personal protection and for me and the team while in Indonesia; luggage to arrive, people to be safe, families to be shielded while we are on the road. Also for good sleep leading up to the event, we would like to arrive rested.
Work – continued prayer around logistical, spiritual and emotional prep for the upcoming Indonesia trip. Grace, unity and energy is needed on all fronts!
Personal – What is on God’s heart? What are his priorities? Who does he want me to talk to, connect with, pray for? Please pray I will have the ears to hear, heart to feel, and obedience / wisdom to walk out his responses.
PS - Paula Sandford, a pioneer in the area of Christian Counseling and the Inner Healing movement, passed way 4 May 2012. Please pray for her husband John and her family
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